Saturday, October 08, 2005

Sleb-breeders and the ticking zeitgeist


Maxim Topless Cafe
Originally uploaded by The Salaryman.
The squares don’t know its all a fix. The received metaphwoars, the agenda and how what pops up when, where and how is determined elsewhere. From time to time a narrative appears in parts before dipping into mist, unresolved and undebated until the puppeteers get tired again and revive it like last weeks coffee in the microwave.

Breeding. All life does it in some form, some messier and more eccentric than others (marsupailness is not to be derided, but the scatological aspects need reform). For great apes like us it is a bigger challenge, of course. One often taken too lightly but that requires coping. The fact that Westerners are multiplying slower, not a new phenomenon, has been doing the rounds again, along with the rest of the metanarrative flotsam. The doctors have noticed that female fertility becomes problematic after 35. Maybe.

Yet the loss of freedom and installation of a hoover in one’s pocket for two decades before drifting towards to void is rather difficult, at least in London, before then, if not after, if not ever. Maybe I fetishise sleep at the moment, but there you go. Our systems are not family friendly anymore, but the attentions of the masses are too dilute to demand change – safe, clean state crèches or urban schools that are rather more than storage centres for the feral.

But if you can afford a scheduled Caesarean with a lipo chaser, an army of carers and piss shit spittle scream dealers-with the credit should not be forthcoming, in any form. The slebcrew breeds loudly, is getting knocked up younger and younger and never tires of expelling noise at its seminal achievements. Saw an Anna Friel junket photoshoot in the Sundays within which in between discussing the legacy of a film and tv credits list that sounds like an existential indictment, starting with a girlongirl snog in fucking Brookside, flitting in inconsequence and ending now with JD Sports: The Movie, she talks of the wonders of breeding as is if she was the first and last.

Not unique but the meat puppets that can afford to play at families without pain or sacrifice should find something else to talk about. Like gardening stratagems or the latest trends in sock design. Never mind.